It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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