My first STD was from a foam party
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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