the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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