...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
