I must be too annoying 4 u.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
