How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
