Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
