my mouth tastes like poor choices
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
