life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
