I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
These tits shall not be calmed
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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