If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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