We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize