Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
