You don't have asthma, your pregnant
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Also, beer. Big fan.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
