It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
