I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My ass is underappreciated
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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