How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
