You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
