Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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