But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We talked him into tasing himself.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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