Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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