Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
