How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
