How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I love having hate sex.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Drake has all the answers
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Enjoy the penises
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
