Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
