Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
