You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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