we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
