this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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