ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
