How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
