Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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