Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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