are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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