yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
