Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
