How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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