and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
