dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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