I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
