My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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