I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
