I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
