"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
