I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
