an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
