Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
