just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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