Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
