I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Randomize
