Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
