So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
